Friday, June 08, 2007

A Tip from Keith Ferrazzi

I had to share this with you.

Many thanks to Keith for helping this recovering geek on the road to recovery and to Advantage Conferences for the ongoing mentoring to help me build the muscles necessary.

Eric Standlee

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Tip 78 - Meeting people you don't like
Recently I was playing polo (my new favorite pastime), and a new person was introduced to our regular group. The first impression I got was that he was pretty inauthentic, even untruthful about a few things, and it was a definite put-off.
When you meet someone you don't like, you've got two choices. Become annoyed at having to deal with the new person. Or step back and realize that usually when people act like that, it's because of some insecurity and their defense mechanisms are kicking in to protect from being hurt.
Initially, I reacted the wrong way. I'm human. But luckily, when it was obvious I was pretty tweaked, a good friend who's also part of my accountability group called me on my behavior.
Then I remembered the advice a friend once gave me about how to handle these situations. Do the opposite of your initial reaction. So if I started to push back and be defensive and gruff myself, I actually should choose to be positive and very affirming to help create a comfortable, safe environment for the person I didn't like so much at first, to give them the best opportunity to demonstrate the good they probably really have inside. 
Even in these relatively brief relationship situations, it pays to focus on generosity and helping others. And in the end, that's the best way to help yourself, too.
Read some great comments on this and post your own at the Never Eat Alone blog

To your success,
Keith Ferrazzi

The book - Never Eat Alone
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1 comment:

Steven Walle said...

Thank you for this post Eric Standlee. Some times it's hard to remember that it is not all about me, but it is all about Him. It is about becoming more like Jesus Christ each day. These are the kinds of teaching we learn from our founder and president Tim Darnell. Advantage Conferences is a wonderful training ground to learn to be more Christ like.
In His Grip
Steven Walle