Self-Improvement Journey

In 2012, because of a new business project, I began to put much more effort into personal development.  I figured it would be good to share my personal development journey.

But, it is way more important who you are talking with than that I share at all.  So, let me introduce myself.

Today, I might be considered a successful person. 

"A winner knows how much he still has to learn even when he is considered and expert by others. A loser wants to be considered and expert by others before he has learned enough to know how little he knows." Sydney J. Harris

But, I grew up the first son of a single mother who had to work 4 jobs to make ends meet most of my young life. When I was 5 she worked 4 jobs and carried a full load in her education masters program while on the dean's list. When I was in junior high and high school, she worked 4 jobs just to keep food on the table. Then she started a venture when I graduated high school that is now a 25 year old company that has funded 1000s of companies and billions of dollars.

I own 10 different companies in different stages of success. But, I count my success in the time I get to spend with my family and the success stories I have created in my funding clients and in my sales teams.

So, maybe my journey in self-improvement might be of some use to others.  Like I said, my current journey in personal development started with a new business project 2 years ago.  Before that, I am not so sure I was aware of personal development per se. I think I read books that some would say I should read, but no one had told me to read them. I just found them. I read books like The Magic of Thinking Big and Think and Grow Rich. I read others like Never Eat Alone and How to Win Friends and Influence People.

It frustrates me to know that I might have had even more success than I have had if someone had encouraged me to read personal development books much earlier.  Of course, personally I am a Christian and of course I read the quintessential personal development book we call our Bible.  But, I learned the hard way the value of personal development.

I don't like to read much. Prior to two years ago, I mostly read fiction outside of reading the Bible.  So, when this business project brought the awareness of my lack of development to the forefront, I began to read like I have never read before. I began reading on subjects like leadership, encouragement, happiness, business success, case studies, biographies, how-to books, and anything I could get my hands on. For instance, one time I heard Will Smith, a personal development mentor from a distance of mine, that he read the book called The Alchemist, I immediately began a search for it. I found that it was so old that it was out of print and could only find a PDF of it online. I read that one book all the way through as quick as possible.

Now, I am in the middle of close to 20 books at any one time and re-reading several in that list for multiple times.

I had heard that "Leaders are Readers" but it sounded trite. As I started reading more, I began to agree with that saying. How can a man get better without looking in the mirror? And, reading a book is like looking the mirror of someone else's life and journey. 

So, the first part of my journey was to find time to read and not take away from my family and my businesses. I began to wake up "earlier" and stay up later to get more "me time" in and work on me instead of me just working.

As I share this journey from time to time, I want to share books that I have found valuable, and I want to share lessons that you can take away from my journey.

APPLICATION: 

• Begin to read today.
• Find a personal development mentor or coach either in person or virtually like in a book or on youtube or in audios you can listen to.
• Find accountability partners who will ask you how your commitment to personal development is coming.
• But, find time no matter how short a time, and no matter when you can find it even if it is listening from your phone as you drive down the road, but find time for personal development in your life.

Disclaimer:

I don't currently have any personal development books for sale. I am not trying to sell you anything.

Please share and comment and let others know about your journey too.

Eric Standlee speaks about Funding Commercial Companies, Social Networking to Generate Revenue, and Leverage Buyouts

Please take a look at my site. Thanks in advance. http://amplify.com/u/aq036

Networking/Netweaving Motivations

Why Network/Netweave? What are your motivations?

I cannot pretend to know your motivations, but as I continue to learn and grow I can share where I have been.

When I started out to get on the path to networking, I didn't even know there was such thing as netweaving. So, what were my motivations?

Initially, fear motivated me to not do anything, but like the millions of pounds of thrust from the rockets on the space shuttle help it to overcome gravity and inertia and eventually leave Earth for near Earth orbit disgust with where I was drove me to venture into all I knew which was networking.

I will define this networking as the dreaded 30 second elevator speach you memorize and with a gulp of courage pressing down the urge to vomit you repeat over and over as you "work the room" forcing unsuspecting adults to receive your business card in trade for their business card.

I didn't know better. That is all I had ever known.

But, being the recovering geek that I still am today and was more so back then, I didn't even dare venture out before real people and instead retreated to the technology that I could not tell was really my prison.

I chose to overcome what I didn't know by "practicing" on the hapless people I encountered on social networking sites. "If I make mistakes, I can just delete my profile and run and hide in a corner and eat worms." I said to my self as if that really was some comfort.

At this stage, my motivation was cromagnon. I was playing with the bright light I'd found after the lightning strike not knowing if it could hurt me or be my friend.

I was motivated by base instinct to better myself, makes sales so I could make money, and basically selfish desires.

However, this stage was important or I wouldn't have overcome the inertia that held my quivering ignorant butt in my seat afraid to go over the horizon for fear that the world would end.

But, like anyone who has been through formal education, I realized that I would have to turn to the wisdom of those who had come before me.

So, groping through the darkness at a local book purveyor I flipped and flopped between the comfort of technology tomes and the unknown of "business" books.

What lay before me was a great adventure that even now many much older and wiser still behold in extreme incredulity. Many cannot belive that such a neanderthall as myself could have found the fire and learned to tame it. Even just today I was confronted by these walking fun-house mirrors reflecting earily past distorted images of myself.

In my quest to understand this enigma called networking, I stumbled upon a map that was written in a language I could understand. At first I was attracted by its orange cover with blue writing soley because I liked the color and the words on its cover seemed simple. In fact, recently I heard a so-called expert dispising the very contents of this tome calling it simple and naive. But, its simplicity attracted me and I dove in right there in the bookstore. It was Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.

Quickly I realized that along with the binky blankets of technology magazines and books I had chosen, I must have this one too.

As I read it, I had to take breaks because the newness of the material hurt my neanderthall grey matter. But, throughout the months ahead I learned about the foreign land of networking. This map called Never Eat Alone also laid out the hints of a land beyond networking that would take me years to discover in experience and a year longer after that to know its name.

I took what I could bear and tried to apply the wisdom to the only place I felt safe enough to venture out and meet new people: a new land of myth called LinkedIn. I applied new ideas of introducing myself to total strangers there, and begining conversations about the magic called business. I fought the demons of spam and laziness. I tackled the dragons of fear and humiliation. Had to conquer this unknown land, and by chance I had found the right map.

As I built upon failure and success, I realized that I was making the acquaintences of many new people and by chance I had discovered that I enjoyed helping others. It took meeting a giant of a person who later became my mentor before I realized that this was the real secret.

Through long, dark dungeons I learned to discern the Takers from the Givers and the first Giver I was to meet was a Lady of Light. This Lady poured into my life through her actions and spoken wisdom the hidden knowledge of the guild of the Givers. She tested me with much and though I stumbled I was drawn by the lessons of the Givers and realized a new way I knew deep in my soul must lead to the other side of just networking.

I had to share what I had learned, so dispite the pickly thorns I knew would block my way I endeavored to share the new way. I learned later that it had many names: Servant Leadership, and Pay-it-forward, and Give First. Some giants of the land had gone well before me yet few knew of these names and even fewer knew of the way. Finally, I came to call it netweaving.

I shared and shared its truths like I had been shown by the Lady. I braved the cold steele of those less enlightened knowing that the way of the Givers was better than the way of the Takers. For as it has been said, "Give and it will be given to you..." Hidden in those words I realize now that I'd heard all of my life were the foundation of the truth that would lead me on to become the Champion.

I began to draw a crowd and called it InHouston. We braved unknown to challenge the older ways of paid-for-networking, and dues-based chambers. Instead, together we grasped and found the way to no-dues, no-cover, no-presentation, netweaving. Eureka!

Somewhere in there my motivation had been turned from the dark side of the Takers where every action was guided by self-centered need to the light side of the Givers. My motivation really became to find those who would accept me and let me help them. Daily I was confronted by the old way as Takers would barge into my group. Some came disguised as Givers only to disappear as if driven from me by the blinding light of netweaving. It was as if they could not stand it like Superman and kryptonite.

However, those who longed for more than just the way of the Takers were drawn as if by magnet to join me on the life-long journey called the way of the Givers.

I still don't have perfect motivation. I don't believe I ever will. However, in greater numbers I seek to strive for the high mark of the calling of the way of the Givers and their motivation of purely giving without ever seeking anything in return.

Now, though not of plan or purpose at first, I realize that I am drawn to seek out those chosen to find the way of the Givers. I find myself motivated to draw close to me Trusted Advisors ever wiser in this true way. Not foresaking those still behind me on the path, I endeavor to gather to me a group of like-minded people.

So, less and less I find myself motivated to push this way on others and instead I realize that 80% who hear will never dare to believe it could be true. I don't worry about that and give without expectations knowing that the 20%'ers who will eventually grasp netweaving like I have will be drawn not only to me but also to a stronger and stronger army of Netweavers which I find myself standing with.

My motivation changed along the journey. I know I struggle with the ghost of the pre-Giver motivations every day. My motivation can never purely be a Givers unless I am without need, but daily my courage builds for the right way for me.

So, why are you networking or netweaving? What are your motivations? How are your inspired? What passions drive you?

Do you hear the song of the higher calling?

I challenge you, NO! I dare you to give first without expectation.

LinkedIn Groups you need to know about

Ferrazzi said if you cannot join the chamber you want, then just create your own.  We have taken that advice and built communities around Entrepreneurial Networking in these groups.


Join the InHouston Group


Join the EnVision Group


Join the SanAntonio Group


Join the Texas A&M Group

Eric Standlee
www.linkedin.com/in/ericstandlee

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How to connect with me Eric Standlee on LinkedIn Video Primer

Here is a video on how to connect with me Eric Standlee (and therefore anyone) on LinkedIn.

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